January 2013

I can't believe January has already come and gone but if this means the weather will warm up I will gladly say goodbye January!!

As always life at our house has been busy, Softball is back in full swing with indoor practices twice a week and Austin is still enjoying Video Game Club and Cycling Club. 

Exciting News for January:

Austin earned his first 4.00! 

Congratulations Buddy, we couldn't be prouder of the young man you have become!

 

Kaysie joined her cousins Kyra and Marcus in this years Mini Cheer through Taylorsville High!

 Thank you Kyra for inviting her, she loved it!

Shailyn has applied to AMES Academy, a Charter School held in Cottonwood High School.  She is in the lottery so we are keeping our fingers crossed that she makes it!!

Tim and I finished repainting our frontroom this month.  I love a fresh coat of paint it seems to make the house feel so much cleaner! 

Another Year Gone!

We hope the end of another year finds you and your family doing well! 

Austin is a Junior at Spectrum Academy High School and the welding program through Davis Applied Technical Center.  He is presently on the high honor roll and doing really well in both schools.  Austin loves creating things and has already brought home some unique metal creations!   He is on track to graduate with his class and we are excited to see what the future holds for him. 

Shailyn is in 8th grade at Bennion Jr. High.  Shailyn loves to read, draw, and paint.  She is a funny girl, one day she will have her hair curled and be dressed in nice clothes, the next she will be in sweats and a pony tail or messy bun.   She loves to laugh and enjoys sharing her joy with everyone around her.   She adores little ones and loves the fact she is now old enough to baby sit!

Kaysie is in 6th grade at Bennion Elementary.  Kaysie loves playing softball and this year she started playing at the competitive level.  It amazes me that she is able to keep straight A’s with all the time she spends on the ball field!  She loves music and took violin lessons this past year.  

Tim and I have decided to start coaching our own softball team!  This has kept us both very busy and we love watching the girls grow from week to week.   Our team is a 12 and under girls fast pitch team and we are looking forward to spending another year at the ball fields!   Of course we couldn’t make it through a year without more challenges… Tim was laid off from his job in October and hasn’t been able to find anything yet, Cindy has struggled with her Rheumatoid Arthritis and is hoping the new medication will help (and soon!); Shailyn is still struggling with her migraines but has found relief from chiropractic care.

We have survived another crazy busy year with our family and we are loving (almost) every minute of it!

I CAN DO THIS!

I used to be a Mom you could find in the yard playing ball with my kids, trying to "break the egg" on the trampoline, occassionally cranking up the stereo and dancing with my girls in our frontroom.

The key word here used to be; I am trying to accept my life with this disease affecting every movement I make.  Today, I am grateful I was able to turn on the shower, pour a cup of coffee (using both hands) and unlock the door to the office.  All of the little things I never thought twice about doing, all of the sudden are my big accomplishments for the day.  I am trying very hard to stay positive and hope that the medications they have me on will work and enable me to get back to doing what I love.  This is the hardest part, I attempt to play catch on a "good" day and get shooting pains in my hands and wrist, attempt to help Kaysie practice her pitching and get pain in my knees.  I don't know how to be a parent and not be able to play with my kids.  Recently it was brought to my attention I am "moody", I know I am and I don't know how to fix it, trying to accept the debilitating effects of this disease is a real downer.  Many mornings I wake up and ask the question, why me?  This is not getting me anywhere, I am a happy person at heart and want to be able to accept life for what it is and stop dwelling on what I can no longer do.  I somehow need to change my frame of mind and be grateful for all I can still do.

Starting today I am going to celebrate the small accomplishments, remind myself how lucky I am to have such great people surrounding me and be grateful for what I can do and stop focusing on what I cannot.  I need to figure out a new way to make memories with my kids, take advantage of the good days that I have more mobility, and find acceptance in my life. 

My fight with R.A.

16 years ago I was diagnosed with a crippling disease; Austin was only 2 months old when it first hit. I remember the pain I felt in my hands as I struggled to lift him and vowed at that point I would not let this ruin my life. I have to admit I have done well learning to deal with it, until recently. I was in a minor car accident the Saturday after Thanksgiving and jammed my right wrist. Since then I have been having flare-ups that haven't been this way in years. It's as if the accident reopened the wound and now it is attacking in full force again. I don't know how to change my life to accommodate this disease, and I don't know where to find the strength I need to get through this. I will admit I have taken a lot for granted over the past 16 years, some days (like today) something as simple as turning on the shower, or making a pot of coffee is extremely challenging. The past month has been horrible as far as my arthritis goes; Christmas Eve was probably the worst day I've experienced in the past 13 years. I woke up early knowing I had a lot to prepare and low and behold my hands didn't want to move. I struggled through the day trying everything I knew how to get through the cooking and baking that had to be done. I was assigned to bring crackers and a cheese ball to our annual Christmas party, which normally wouldn't have been a problem but I couldn't even open the cream cheese without tearing up! Tim thankfully noticed my pain and offered to open the remaining packages of cream cheese (and then I got the lecture of "all you have to do is ask and I will do it for you"); determined not to give up, I attempted cutting up green onions, this task was too much - I couldn't put any pressure on the knife and ended up an emotional wreck. Tim luckily stepped in and did this part too. That is when it really hit me hard that I had to make some major changes and learn how to ask for help. Last week I finally got an X-ray done on my wrist... The results were not what I was prepared to hear. My RA has moderate to severely deteriorated the joints in my hand and wrist, meaning there is nothing I can do to alleviate the pain except for joint replacement surgery! How on earth am I supposed to accept something like this?

Quotes for today

Sometimes I think my life would make a great TV movie.  It even has the part where they say, "Stand by. We are experiencing temporary difficulties."  ~Robert Brault

A hug is worth a thousand words. ~Author Unknown

Keep your fears to yourself but share your courage with others.  ~Robert Louis Stevenson

Bravery is being the only one who knows you're afraid. ~Franklin P. Jones

Lost

Over the past two years I somehow feel like I have lost myself.  It all started 9/11/09 - I got laid off from my job of 7 years, 01/2010 - Found a new job, 04/2010 - Laid off from new job, 05/2010 - Shailyn had her accident and that changed everything.  I spent the summer of 2010 being a full time nurse / Mom, on shift 24 hours a day and running to various specialists, in September 2010 the kids went back to school, Shailyn still had 2-3 doctor appointments a week and so I was still busy the majority of the time.  January 2011 - I wasn't needed as much as I was before, and I believe that is when I started feeling lost.  June 2011 the kids were out of school and I was needed once again.  Now the kids are back in school, Shailyn is well on her way with recovery (Yes, we still have many appointments but they are more like check-ups now - just to make sure things are going the way they are supposed to.)  and I feel lost!  I don't know what to do with myself half the time and don't feel needed as I once did.  The kids can all take care of themselves, I know my presence is needed but they don't need help with anything other than homework these days!  I guess I am at a turning point, and need to choose a direction to go.  I just hope I can find that direction soon because I feel so lost right now!

Kaysie hit her first homerun today!!!

Wow!  What a proud moment for Kaysie!  She had her last 2 games of the season today and ended it with her first homerun!  Congratulations Kaysie! 

(Unfortunately I was too excited to remember to take a picture of her homerun)

On another note, it wouldn't be a week at the Polad house if someone wasn't injured or seeing a doctor... Tim got smacked by a softball on the field today, right in his ribs!  Jordan, who is one of our strongest hitters hit the ball right at him, as he tried jumping out of the way it slammed right into him!  He scared me to death, collapsing after it hit him - but all is well... he'll just be sore for 10 days or so.